


lullaby

by wingsoficarus



Category: The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Genre: Both of Zelda's boys are gone and suffering follows, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Link gets mentioned but he doesn't actually show up (thanks to timeline bs), Male Sheik (Legend of Zelda), Post-Ocarina of Time, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sheik (Legend of Zelda) is a Separate Character, Sheik might be a ghost but that doesn't stop him from playing one last lullaby, Sheikah lore (if you squint), Sleep Deprivation, Zelda regrets literally everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25680853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsoficarus/pseuds/wingsoficarus
Summary: In which Zelda recalls the myriad of times her shadow fought off the nightmares with a simple lullaby.
Relationships: Sheik & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	lullaby

Yet another night had come and gone, and yet sleep eluded Queen Zelda. The nightmares, which were always bad, had been especially horrible tonight. 

Her room had quickly become suffocating following the last nightmare, and now she was roaming the halls of Hyrule Castle. She didn’t have any particular destination in mind, but when her mind cleared enough to register her surroundings, she found herself standing in front of a regular wooden door. To anybody else, the significance of this door would be nearly non-existent. 

Looks could be deceiving. 

Out of habit, she knocked on the door. Her knuckles tapping against the wood spelled out a message in a code only she and two other people knew. 

She received no response, like she knew she would. 

Zelda pushed the door open. It was unlocked, a fact which brought a sad smile to her lips. The previous occupant of the room never would have left the door unlocked, but he wasn’t here now. 

He hadn’t been here for some time now. 

Inside, the air felt very still. Nobody had been inside this room for at least two months- Zelda had made sure that the maids hadn’t touched it. 

Had it really been two months? Zelda couldn’t quite keep track of the days anymore. They slipped past her as she buried herself in her work, desperately trying to stay afloat in the sea of guilt and regret that threatened to drown her. 

Two months since she’d last seen her shadow. Two months since her world had become lonelier yet again. 

Of course, she only had herself to blame for one of her closest allies disappearing. 

But her shadow was another matter entirely. 

The war had been over for three years. And yet unrest still plagued Hyrule. Day after day, week after week, Zelda read reports of towns burning and people dying. Not because of the Evil King, but because the common folk were rioting. 

Sometimes, Zelda couldn’t help but feel like she had made a grave mistake in sending Link back to regain his lost childhood. Could things have been different if she hadn’t sent her hero away?

It was tough to drag herself out of the downward spiral that her thoughts teetered dangerously on the edge of. Taking a deep breath of the still air, Zelda forced herself to enter the room. Previously, she had been standing just inside the doorway as she zoned out, likely to give herself an excuse to delay entering for as long as possible. 

A faint scent of incense still hung in the air. It was a reassuring scent, bringing to mind pleasant memories of nights spent laughing at her shadow’s jokes or times when he was just there. His presence had always been a comfort. Since she was small, he had always been there. 

And now she could hardly even bring herself to think of his name, because it hurt too much. Two months and she still couldn’t think of the man who had been her brother, despite being a Sheikah. 

Casting her gaze around the room and letting her hand fall from the doorknob, Zelda’s eyes were naturally drawn to his desk. The sight of the papers scattered on the surface of the desk with seemingly no rhyme or reason to their placement was so utterly in character for her shadow. She walked closer and picked up one of the papers with a slightly shaking hand. 

The paper appeared to be a sheet of music with notes written in the margins. The title scrawled across the top in his distinctive thin and slightly messy handwriting read “The Ballad of Time’s Savior.” Next to the title were several hand-written notes ranging from praising the title to being absolutely disgusted by it. 

Closer inspection revealed that there were lyrics written below the musical notes. Zelda read through it all, sinking into the achingly familiar chair. 

Once she had finished reading through the unfinished song, the ache in her heart nearly prevented her from continuing. This song, a tribute to her hero from the only other person who Link had been close to, would never be finished. 

Not for the first time, Zelda cursed her fate. The Goddesses seemed to be quite fond of giving her people, only to take them away. Yes, Link had been entirely her own fault, but… 

Sheik was different. Sheik’s death hadn’t been her fault, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t blame herself for it. 

If only she would have bothered to notice all of the little cues he had been giving off for months. If only she had asked him if something was wrong instead of waiting until it was too late to try and save him from himself. 

Zelda set the paper aside and kept sorting. She barely comprehended most of the words written on the pages, but the way she could feel his presence through the writing was almost too much to bear. 

And then she found the leather-bound notebook Sheik had instructed her to find, should he ever meet an early end. 

She opened the book and nearly gasped from shock. 

This was a record of everything Sheik had done during his adventures alongside the Hero of Time, complete with his personal thoughts and confessions. 

Biting back a sob, Zelda began to read. 

After making it about halfway through the book, she had to pause for a moment to recollect herself. She tasted blood in her mouth, evidence of how hard she had been biting her lip to keep from losing her composure. 

From there, the rest of the book was easy enough to read. At least, until she made it to the pages detailing the days after she sent Link home and her subsequent coronation as Queen of Hyrule. His despair, which had been below the surface and barely detectable in his writing before, only became more evident with each passing day. 

How could she have been so blind? So focused on her own sorrow that she couldn’t even see that of her shadow?

Zelda’s gaze slid from the page and to the side of the desk, where the outline of his beloved golden harp in its weatherproof case rested against one of the legs. Telling herself that she would look at it next, she continued reading. 

The last entry in the book was less like the prior entries and more like a suicide note. 

It was addressed to her, though there was a postscript dedicated to Link. 

_Though you’ll never read these words, I want you to know that I am dearly sorry for all I have done to you. For all that you endured on the behalf of the Goddesses. All of it. I’m so sorry._

_Goodbye, Link. I had more to tell you, but it’s pointless to even say it now._

“Oh, Sheik…” Zelda whispered. “You stupid idiot.” She laughed softly, though it ended up sounding more like a strangled sob. 

It was childish, yes. A remnant of days long since gone by, when both Sheik and Zelda were young and had little to worry about. Before the weight of the world was placed upon her shoulders and Sheik rushed to her aid as always. Before they had both been forced to grow up far too quickly. 

Setting the book aside, Zelda wiped at her eyes briefly- when had she started crying? Then, taking a shaky breath, she picked up the black case and held it carefully in her lap. 

Sheik had always treasured this instrument. Once, when they were eight years old, Sheik had told her that he loved the harp more than he loved himself. Zelda, being a foolishly romantic eight year old, had asked him if he would marry the harp when he was older. She had never forgotten his response, and even now it echoed in her head. 

“Only if I was not bound to service like my ancestors. My duty is to the throne first and foremost- to you, someday. I would love to become a traveling musician, but….” Sheik sighed and shook his head, blonde bangs falling into his eyes. Impatiently, he brushed them back. “It’s pointless to speak of such things. It’s just a foolish hope of mine.” 

Zelda had sworn to help him accomplish his dream, and now….

She slid the golden instrument out of its case, repressing the urge to cough as dust rose off of the case. Sheik was surely rolling in his grave at the sight. To think that his beloved harp had been allowed to gather dust! He never would have allowed such a thing to happen.

But he was no longer here to clean it, so it sat idly by and gathered dust. 

The instrument itself was still beautiful, as always. Fingerprints dotted the smooth golden surface, though they were barely noticeable. The blue cloth wound around the base on one side was unexpectedly soft to the touch, but Zelda wasn’t exactly sure why that fact surprised her. She plucked at the strings, producing a random series of soft notes. Despite the fact that she knew next to nothing about music, something about the notes the instrument produced sounded wrong. Which made sense, as it had gone without tuning for two months. 

Zelda knew better than to mess with the barely visible tuning pegs, so she left them alone. As her hands glided over the surface of the instrument, she was startled to discover a carving on the bottom of the harp. 

_Property of Sheik Ishida._

Carefully, the queen stood and picked up the harp. She carried it over to the bed and laid down, still holding it against her chest. 

How many times had she been in this exact position? Lying down on Sheik’s bed while the Sheikah in question sat at the foot of his bed, harp cradled in his lap while he played the lullaby her mother used to sing for her? 

Sometimes he would sing along, though only if Zelda absolutely could not get to sleep. Despite his dream of being a travelling musician, he was awfully self-conscious about his voice. She used to tease him about it, but after Ganondorf’s takeover of the castle... 

Zelda may have watched her father die that day, but Sheik’s mother bled out in his arms. Zelda hadn’t held her father as he died. She hadn’t tried to save him, because nearly as soon as Ganondorf slit his throat, Impa had grabbed her and started running. 

They had run across Sheik in the courtyard, holding his mother’s body and trying so hard not to cry. Zelda would never forget the way he sounded as he begged his mother to stand up and continue fighting, to keep running, to keep _living._

It was an unspoken rule among the two of them that the teasing stopped after that day. 

Sheik had been very different after that day. He became less cheerful and more closed off. And he became so dedicated to his martial arts training that bruises and pulled muscles became less and less of a rarity. 

During that time, Zelda spent a vast majority of her time posing as a Sheikah herself. That identity had been thrown off shortly after Link woke up, and Zelda then began organizing an army of volunteers to aid Link in his ultimate goal of defeating Ganondorf. 

And all the while, Sheik had been by her side. Despite the pain and the anger he carried, he had always been there. 

It was fitting that her closest friend was also the source of her second biggest regret, she supposed. After all, the man she’d fallen in love with was the source of her biggest regret. 

Zelda rarely allowed herself to feel her emotions. Ever since sending Link back, she had known that showing weakness would be practically a death sentence for her country. So she had learned to lead while her heart felt like it was breaking. She hadn’t dared confide in Sheik, as she knew that he was fighting his own demons, though she had no idea how badly he was suffering. 

So many nights, she’d laid awake and wished for the pain to go away. And since people would talk, she hadn’t dared seek out her shadow’s lullaby. 

Now she would never hear it again. 

As she stared up at the ceiling, barely comprehending the grey stone above her, Zelda could’ve sworn she felt a ghostly touch on her shoulder. Alarmed, she sat up and looked around the room. Nothing had changed- Sheik’s papers were all still where she had left them and his weapons were still neatly displayed on the bookshelf alongside his collection of ancient tomes and such. His potion-making supplies were still dusty. 

Another moment passed without incident, and Zelda was about to lay down again when she heard the faint sound of harp music. Magical alarm bells of sorts started ringing in her ears- there must be some kind of magic at play here. 

Then everything clicked into place as an unseen hand brushed her hair back behind her right ear. Now she could sense his aura.

“Cheeky bastard.” Zelda said. Not exactly proper language for a queen, but Zelda never had acted much like a queen around Sheik. Queenly manners never had been her strong suit, but she had learned to become a fantastic actor. To many members of her court, she was the very picture of a perfect queen. Many of them would have a heart attack if they could hear her now.

He likely laughed and said something sarcastic in response, though Zelda couldn’t hear him. Communication with spirits wasn’t an area of magic she was skilled in, despite Sheik and Impa’s best attempts. 

“How long have you been here?” Zelda asked accusingly. 

A series of light taps against her wrist followed her question. Sheik must have realized that she couldn’t hear him and was now using Morse code as an alternative method of communication, like they often did during council meetings. 

Clever man.

_I’m always with you in some capacity. You should know that, Zelda._

“It would’ve been nice to know you were there sooner.” 

_What can I say? I’m a sucker for a dramatic entrance. Ask Link._

Zelda winced. She could feel Sheik’s emotions through his aura, and he wasn’t happy. Her existing guilt, which was considerable by itself, practically doubled. “I’m sorry.”

_You must be tired indeed if you’re apologizing to me. Lie down. I can play one last lullaby for you._

“Last?”

_All things must end, Zelda. I knew that when I made my presence known, I’d only be able to impact my surroundings once. Otherwise I’d definitely be doing ghostly things like knocking books over just to spite you._

“Of course.” Zelda rolled her eyes and laughed softly. She could picture the expression on his face as he spoke- the familiar way his eyes danced with a mischievous light as he smirked under his mask. “After this, will you be gone entirely?” 

_Yes. My regret is keeping me here. The lullaby will help us both rest._

“Why did you do it?” Zelda whispered. The words felt like they were going to choke her, but she needed to know. She needed the confirmation directly from him. 

_I could not bear to continue living while the guilt threatened to consume me entirely. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I didn’t have the courage or even the time to say them._

“I’m so sorry.” Zelda whispered once more. 

_There is no need for you to apologize to me, Zel. My decision was mine alone. I ought to apologize to you for leaving you so abruptly._

“Always so determined to take the blame.” 

_You know me so well._

She was reluctant to end the conversation. The friendly banter, the pure familiarity between them… Zelda had missed this. She had missed her shadow so damn much. And this was the last time she would hear from him, if what he said was true. 

Sheik was very rarely wrong. 

“I miss you.” Zelda barely managed to choke out, hating herself for how pathetic she felt and knew she sounded. 

_Now now, your highness. People may talk if they hear you saying such things to me._

“Let them talk. It’s not like the rumors they would spread have any facts. You’re my brother, regardless of blood.”

_How scandalous. Imagine the councilmembers’ faces if they could hear you now!_

“They’d be beside themselves.” Zelda truly laughed then. It had been a while since she properly laughed, if she was being completely honest. Her queenly duties hadn’t left much room for merriment in the last two months. 

_Naturally. Now, Zelda, lie down. Please. You need to rest._

“...I’d rather keep talking to you.” 

_All things must end eventually._

“Okay.” Zelda’s voice was barely audible. After she spoke, she did as instructed and laid back down. Exhaustion dragged at her already, and Sheik hadn’t even begun the lullaby yet. Such was the price of the countless nights of minimal to no sleep, she supposed. 

Soft harp music began to play, perfectly in tune and sounding gorgeous as always. 

“Sheik… thank you.” Zelda mumbled. “We can both rest now.”

Despite the knowledge that this would be the last time her shadow ever played the lullaby for her, the soothing notes eased her mind and soothed her aching heart. Her eyes slid closed as sleep finally pulled her under, and a soft smile touched her face. 

At last. 

Once she closed her eyes, the ghostly form of a Sheikah no older than the age of 20 appeared at the foot of the bed, harp in hand as he plucked the strings. His eyes were closed, but he opened them as soon as he was certain that Zelda was asleep. 

An unreadable expression shone in his ghostly red eyes as he looked down at the sleeping queen. His fingers stopped moving across the strings, halting the lullaby he had been playing. The ghost Sheikah stood and placed his harp back in its case, taking one last longing look at the golden instrument as he did so. 

Then he crossed the room once more and stood next to Zelda. 

“Sleep well, little sister. I will see you on the other side. Please, take your time.” Sheik whispered, though he knew she wouldn’t be able to hear him. It was the thought that counted, really. And perhaps the Goddesses would be merciful for once in their infinite lives and pass his message onto her. 

His regret eased, Sheik took one last breath out of instinct alone and closed his eyes once more. He tilted his head up to the ceiling, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It was fitting that he finally allowed himself to truly pass into the afterlife in his room. This room was the source of so many memories, both good and bad. 

One moment his translucent form was there, and the next moment it wasn’t. 

The next morning, Zelda woke feeling truly well-rested for the first time in years.


End file.
